watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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