Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
