He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
