First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
