youre lurking in front of me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
