I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
