the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
