My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
