What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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