I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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