you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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