My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
