Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
