Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
