i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
wanna go halves on a baby?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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