No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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