we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
