I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
