before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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