do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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