i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize