I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
