oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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