I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
