Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
