I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My Sexting was not on an AP level
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
