i think my tv is drunk
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
