I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
