Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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