I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
