So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
