Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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