someone threw a dead crab at me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
