Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
