If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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