We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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