; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
