i think i have herpe
just one?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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