I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
