I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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