well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
