i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
third nipple confirmed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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