watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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