His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
