ugly people sure do ruin things
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
