i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A bitchslap is in order.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
