Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
