ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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