So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
