Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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