What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
