You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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