ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
