My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
