Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We just shotgunned beers for America
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
