oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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