I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
