She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
