I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
