How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
