What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
