I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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